Matt McIrvin wrote the following in response to a discussion titled Hey! You Guys!

[banjo; cheap animation]

When you're out enjoyin' the day
And all the people 'round you say
"Will you teach me a pronunciation rule?"
Well, the one about silent e
They've taught us already
So repeating it just makes you look the fool!

There are lots of letters and lots of words
And lots of things we've already heard
So just go easy on the crazy silent e!
There are five exceptions to every law
While you stress the thing we already saw
So give a rest to the poor old silent e!

In every sketch and cartoon spot
You just harp on the one we got
Even Charlie Brown sang about e before i
So for now we'll close our ears
And wait about twenty years
For your son to be the vampire slayer guy

There are lots of letters and lots of words
And lots of things we've already heard
So just go easy on the crazy silent e!
We'll learn our digraphs and our blends
When the litany of this letter ends
So give a rest to the poor old silent e!